Buddy-My Master: 3

 

 

Parenting
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Few days back, Buddy’s trainer approached me for his mating with a beautiful cocker spaniel. I saw her pictures and instantly approved of her. Buddy will meet his lady┬álove, mate her, get her pregnant, and after giving his sperm will be done with her. No responsibility of bringing the puppies, nursing them or teaching them anything. Once they are born, he won’t even know he is the father. The mother plays an important role; she bears the puppies, nurses and takes care of them.

In nature, once the male specie copulates with the female specie, his job is over. After that he is on a hunt for the next one. Most of the animals follow this rule except for a sea horse, who takes the eggs in his pouch until they mature. The birds are different; they choose their partner, build their nest together and bring up their offspring. They nurture the offspring until they have learnt to fly. Once they have, the couple sets them free.

 

We humans are some what like the birds. We bear children and take their responsibility together. Once our children grow and are capable of being on their own, however, we don’t set them free. Some parents do, but some clip their wings. The children are traumatised and torn apart. Yes, it is very difficult to let go. It’s an emotional bond we humans have and that is the main difference between us and the animals. We have a voice and consciousness and we are vocal about our emotions. We humans have lot of expectations from our children and love controlling their lives.

I want to share the views of Kahlil Gibran, a philosopher from his book Prophet, a master piece. This is my favourite piece.

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.” And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

35 Comments on “Buddy-My Master: 3

  1. Soooo true v start controlling our children thinking v r teaching them what is right and what is wrong..,but in that process….v also tk away their freedom…parenting is a tough job

    • Yes absolutely.. Even giving too much free can be detrimental. You have to watch them and guide them.

  2. Calls for a hug Manjeet, (….my way of conveying ultimate appreciation)
    From Buddy to Khalil Gibran is like a journey from the plains to the peak &
    coming from a young parent I admire your ‘level & depth’ of wisdom.
    “I suppose in the end the whole of life becomes an act of letting go”
    ..is my favorite dialogue from the movie ‘the life of Pi’ !! Love.

    • Thanks Mamaji…. I loved your gesture… Yes I too agree with, the act of “letting go” … If one can imbibe it, life will be much simpler…

  3. True…and parenting is become such a complicated and lonely. job without the social network we all grew up. In…

    • Hi Rekha, I thoroughly enjoyed my motherhood until my son was fully dependent on me and I was his only world. Now he is a teenager and doesn’t need me much, but love it when he calls for help or advice. We as parents enjoy that the most….doing something for them.

  4. Very well quoted. Attachment and Expectations are the major reasons of heartache…!

    • Yup.. True, very true…that’s why we need this understanding through nature and great minds..

  5. Another great article from you,Manjeet. Profound thoughts and vaiied subjects.
    Keep it going girl.

    • Thanks Anita…. Learning so much from my dog. It’s amazing. He is my direct connection from nature.

  6. Some parents still trying to control the lives of their children who have grown up is perhaps a practice prevalent only in India.This has another rather healthy offshoot of grown up children looking after their old
    parents.Both these typically Indian attributes are missing in the so-called advanced Western countries.

    • Yes it’s both ways.. The children also must take care of their old parents. That’s a strong point of we Indians.. We need to strike a balance between too little freedom and too much of freedom.,

  7. So true..we humans are social animals.we are emotional and very attached to our children.we overlook their weakness and instead of correcting them at times pamper them At times we are selfish..we force religion and rituals…what we could not acheive or accomplish in life through them..we also want them to look after us in our old age..
    we should learn from birds..nurture them and let them free to find their own routes…
    great aricle Manjeet .

    • Thanks for all the encouragement.. I was very lucky in life, to be allowed to do, what I wanted to do. Mummy, Sweety and you, gave me the wings to fly. I lived in total freedom and lived a life with my own terms.. Thanks a lot…

  8. Hi Bhabhi , Love reading your articles. must have read each one alteast 3 times.
    When anyone gets a child in this mean world. there are so many things to care for …………

    • Absolutely right.. There are vultures around. One has to be careful and on your guard. Earlier I used to think we have to be careful about girls only, but its not true. Even the boys need lot of direction and care.

  9. Hey Manjeet ,

    Fantastic read. Have read it twice already . Keep going .

    Hugs

    Neena

  10. I liked the views of Kahlil Gibran on Children. We friends here very often discuss these matters about our children, it’s very true specially in the western world.

  11. Hi Manjeet once again a very thoughtful artical. We know all this but do not follow.by reading it you are making us think and I like that. I have not read Kahil Gibran’ prophet but after reading your favorite lines from his book I think that will be my next book choice.
    You are doing great . As usual I am your follower and am looking forward for next blog. All the best

    • Thanks Anjali. My next post is on giving and again with an extract of Khalil Gibran’s quote which is most favorite.

  12. Very well said Manjeet! I guess we all are aware of this but it always helps to reinforce the same time and again. Started looking forward to reading your posts.

    • Thankx Avantika, absolutely true. We all know it all but find it difficult to implement it in our lives. We need a refresher course time and again.

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